and any and all religious blasphemy you dare to utter. The end of Day Two at the NEW JOB. All new software and an incredibly complicated and convoluted corporate morass of procedures. Hours of training, one after another until your eyeballs bleed and your brains fall out your ears. Two computers at your desk: 1) the old office and 2) the new office. All your contacts are in the old box and all the new documents you need to create are in the new one…..hiding behind hundreds of icons and subtle tricks designed to lead you straight to hell! Today, I realized I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THE PHONE, other than to pick it up when it rings and say, “uh, hello?” All the while praying, please, please, please, don’t ask me to actually produce anything. Then, a favorite old client calls with a real emergency that needs a motion, actual documents and declarations and the like! Which, I am grateful to say actually was accomplished. With help because I was stuck in training torture, but revised and cleaned up by yours truly. So, that was a good thing. Oh, and there were flowers delivered on the first day and lunch provided both yesterday and today. Peet’s is a half block away right out the parking garage entrance – decent hot chocolate can be had at a price. There are free sodas in various little refrigerators on both floors. I get there early enough to park within 50 ft of the door. When I figure it out, there’s a car detailing service in the garage and a dry cleaning service that picks up and delivers. Billing software remains very mysterious but I did manage to put up a few entries today. I confess I’m enjoying wearing some of my clothes that haven’t seen the outside of my closet for a Long Time. So, if my brains don’t fry and my eyeballs remain in my head, this might just work out.