FACING THE WAVE

I want to add to the last post.  One of the reasons it was hard for me to write was because I knew Husband would read it and feel badly that I was such a wreck.  No one wants to be the cause of distress to those they love.  I don’t want him to feel badly.  It’s my fear and anxiety that needs to be corraled.

I was talking awhile ago with someone whose partner has MS.  He asked me how I was doing and I said I might ask the same as we both had partners who had chronic health issues that from time to time made for some emotional situations.  He thought a long while and then said that he felt privileged to be able to be with his wife through this and give her whatever love and support he could.

I thought that was a wonderful reply and should have included it in my last post.  There are times that make you want to crawl under the biggest rock you can find and not come out, but you can’t do that.  It’s human nature to want to avoid the hard things that come at us but it doesn’t do any good to try to avoid them.  It’s like when you are in the ocean and there’s a big wave coming.  If you turn and run, it will knock you down and tumble you over and over until it spits you out on the shore, bruised and breathless.  You have to face the wave and dive directly into it – it’s definitely counter-intuitive, but it’s the best way.  You hold your breath, dive directly into the coming wave and come out the other side much less battered than if you ran.  I think I’ve been turning tail for more than a little while and I’ve got the wounds to prove it.  I need to perfect my dive technique.  I have no doubt that life will oblige me with opportunities to practice.  Wish me luck.

In the meantime, I  too, feel privileged to “stand by my man.”  He’s worth every effort and while I wish with all my heart that he didn’t have this health issue, I can’t change that.  But I can love him to pieces while we hold hands and dive into the coming waves.